On the Edge

(Note: This is an original idea. I realize that it has been over a month since I have written anything on here. Between work and other activities out with my friends, plus being extremely tired most days, I lost interest in writing anything. It seemed like one more task that I needed to do on an already exhausting day. Plus, whatever I was writing at the time, I just lost interest in it. For some reason, I came up with the premise and the back story to the characters, but couldn't continue on with it.)



This is it. There's no turning back.

I exhaled as I walked closer and closer to the ledge. This one final act of mine will certainly stand out. Everyone will notice me. Everyone will remember me.

I've felt, for a long time now, that I was just another pawn in the life of those around me. They can push me forward, in what I hope to be a way to improve myself. But in the end, I just end up as the bait for bigger moves, looking foolish in the process.

Claire was the first one. All the time that we spent together... All the dinners we had gone to; movies we had gone to see; the great times we shared... all gone. To think, my best friend being the root of all evil in this relationship, the very reason she had to let me go, is without a doubt one of the worst feelings in the world. I had confided in him. Why did he betray me like that? Personal gain? All he gained was what I see now as a manipulative bitch who will go through anyone to get to the one she cares about.

Next came my co-workers. Always leaving me out of the loop on gatherings and get-togethers. Do I embarrass them that much? Not once has anyone seemed as if I was as uncomfortable to be around with as much as the next person. Yeah, we all had our quirks, but it wasn't anything that anyone could look past, I'm sure. Besides, that's when I am at the top of my game! Everyone got a kick out of me! I even considered some of them as being my "friends" even though I never did tell them everything. They may have found out a couple things, but that doesn't mean that it is all true. The over-heard phone calls weren't what they thought they were... at least that's how I feel about it.

My family. How could they not be at my side in all of this? I've had such a difficult life, between work problems, women problems, and other personal problems, that it's hard for me to see someone just letting their loved ones just go like that. Could they not see that I was battling these things... battling the inner demons that stabbed and ripped at my body and soul? I've done everything I can to re-energize my life again, but the relapses seemed to take hold of everything.

I was lost.

And no one was there to guide me.

What more do I have to live for? Where do I go?

Since everything is heading down the drain, I guess that's where I deserve to go as well.

Goodbye.